Arose as usual this morning, all of us attended church except Sister. Heard a tolerable good discourse delivered by Mr. Short, his last one at Jerusalem. The members are opposed to his preaching there any longer. – – No company during the day, retired quite early.
Another beautiful day. Nothing particular occurs today, only Ma has been quite sick in bed. – – Pa & brother attended a sale at Mr. King’s. – – We girls have been lolling about from pillar to post reading, writing, and practicing a little. It has been so very much like a Spring day that we promised ourselves a nice long walk down to Jerusalem this afternoon. Forgetting all about how miry it was, we didn’t even get around the circle before we had to turn back. – – Lilie has had the blues all the evening and I could truly sympathize with her. I verily do believe she is in love with Mr. Crockett or somebody else. I don’t know who. She is a sweet girl and will make any man happy that marries her. There are few girls in this world of Lilie’s disposition, so contented in every situation. I only wish I was half as much so. Well I have been trying this whole evening to master my feelings, but don’t believe I succeeded altogether. At last, I know it is wrong for a person to give away to their feelings as much as I do, but I can’t help it to save my life. I walked alone in the garden just about sunset this evening and could not refrain from shedding a few tears when I thought:
“Alas – how light a cause may move
Dissensions between hearts that love”
I was roused from my reverie by one of the servants coming to let me know it was time to give out supper. Had it not have been for that I don’t reckon I would have made my appearance in the house before dark. How delightful those little reveries are, just to steal away from the noise and bustle of the house for an hour and reflect upon some pleasant _______ perhaps our last interview with the object or idol of our heart. I am too fond of building “air castles.” How often are our brightest hopes forever blasted. – – All have retired save Lilie and myself. She is now reading in her, and it is getting late. I must put up my writing and join her. – – I forgot to write that Brother was confined in his room all day yesterday and part of today with the crick in his neck. It is something better this evening. I know some of us have fattened several pounds laughing at him.
Arose very early this morning as usual & gave out breakfast. – – Pa walked up to the Ct. House after breakfast and returned about one o’clk and told us we must all get ready to go to the party, that it was to be a dancing party. Well, we all got ready between four and five, and started down in the wagon. What a glorious ride we had going down. Our reason for going in the wagon was that the roads are almost impassable between here and there. The ground is still covered in snow, but not quite enough for us to go in the sleigh. We danced until two and then changed our apparel and started home about a quarter past. We were all highly diverted at Lilie. She made about a half dozen trials before she could succeed in getting in the wagon, so very much afraid some of the young gents would get sight of her nice little ankles. Mr. Edwards escorted her out. Mr. Corr, Sister, and Mr. Nelson, myself. We were accompanied in our ride down by the former and latter gentlemen, over taken by them on route. I believe the whole crowd of us were on the point of freezing when we arrived at home, which was about four o’clk. Notwithstanding the wagon was about two thirds full of straw and blankets together, each of us had on a large cloth cloak over our mantels, and then a great big Buffalo robe wrapped all around us. I believe all of them took a short nap coming home, but myself. We retired at five and arose again . . . .
Note: A page has been torn out here; we are missing January 6 and 7.
When I awoke this morning I found the ground covered in snow. It is still snowing very fast now (1 o’clk PM), but I don’t think we will have much fun sleighing unless it comes a freeze. The roads are so very sloppy. – – Brother and Mag spent the morning in the sitting room playing backgammon, the rest of us in Ma’s room sewing. Pa returned home this evening from Woodbury. He finished gathering in his corn today. Was invited to spend the day at Mr. Pollard’s but didn’t go. – – Lilie, Sister and myself have received invitations to a party at Mr. Ellett’s tomorrow night but haven’t decided yet whether or not we will honor them with our presence. – – Really I do feel so very sad tonight.
“I sigh yet feel no pain
Weep yet scarce know why.”
I was again disappointed in not receiving a letter this afternoon. I could scarcely conceal my feelings when Pa told me no letter came for me, but I know I ought not give way to my feelings so, perhaps it is the fault of the Post Master, for Tavie wrote to me yesterday week and I have never received the letter yet.I must try and content myself with that belief or else be miserable, could I but recall the last few months how differently I should act. Oh, could we only see into futurity. I have often heard it said that sad experience was the best teacher after all. How true.
“O that there were one gentle eye,
To weep when I might grieve,
One bosom to receive the sighs,
Which sorrow oft will have!
One heart the ways of life to cheer,
Though rugged they might be.
No language can express how dear,
That heart would be to me.”
Well enough of that for the present. “My sweet” has put up her writing and commenced reading. I must make haste and do the same. I don’t believe any thing has occurred today worth recording. Brother went to see one of his patients this evening. Mag received a nice long letter from dear Tavie, and one from John, also. Sister did not commence her journal until tonight. I think she will get tired of it before she writes many more nights. – – The dear little baby has commenced improving right fast, and Nannie is the worst spoiled child candidly I ever saw. Dear little Piggie is about one of the best. She has been threatened with the croup several nights lately.
I arose very early as I thought this morning, but when I got down stairs, I found Pa had eaten breakfast and was about to start to Woodbury. He is in my opinion one of the most energetic men that ever lived. – – I am now sitting down in Ma’s room. She and Baker are talking so much that I scarcely know what I am doing. The rest of the family have retired. – – Lilie & Sister have given us some most delightful music tonight. – – We have all been quite busy sewing on the servants’ shirts today. – – Lilie & I took a nice long walk after we finished our work, and didn’t return until it was most dark. – – I had thought we were going to have some pretty weather now as we had had so much rain but really it is raining harder tonight than it ever did before, I think. The wind is blowing a perfect gale and I believe it is hailing too. – – Ma is hurrying me to come to bed so I will have to put up my writing and obey her command, after I read. Pa will remain at Woodbury all night.
I arose very early and gave out breakfast. – – Read two chapters in my testament, and then promenaded the garden alone, the rest of the folks being in bed. – – Ma attended Church for the first time since July. Mag & brother, Lilie and Sister went also, and so did little Piggie. She came very near having the croup last night. – – Lilie and Sister returned in a great glee about Mr. Corr. I think the former is right much smitten. They were both very much disappointed in not being visited by some of their beaux in the afternoon. They sat with their best looks on for more than an hour waiting in expectation. After tea we all attempted to sing some but we soon found out that they were unable to assist us, owing I suppose to their heavy hearts. – – Brother left us in the evening to pay a professional visit, returning again to supper. – – We all retired about ten. Lilie and I for the first time since she has been down slept together.
New Year’s Day. – – This has been rather an unpleasant day to me. I have not quite gotten over my last evening’s sad disappointment in not receiving a letter. – – Mag, Lilie & brother are staying with us and have been for a fortnight, the former has been quite busy preparing to go to housekeeping. – – Pa and brother have been at the Ct. House all day. Lilie and I spent the greater part of the day up in the garret sewing. – – Ma has not come out of her chamber yet. She has been in bed for more than a week, Dr. Lewis attended her, the dear little baby is improving slowly. – – I am getting quite tired housekeeping. – – I would like it much better if we didn’t have so much rainy weather. It has rained incessantly for the last three weeks and is still at it today. It begins to look some little like clearing off this evening. – – The last New Year’s Day I spent was very different from this, or at least my feelings were very different from what they are now. A change has come o’er the spirit of my dreams since that time, alas! a sad change. Then my heart was as light and free as a bird. Now it is weighted down with care, when I think how thoughtlessly I have acted in relation to some things I almost wish myself out of existence. – – Lilie, Sister and myself have all three commenced the reading of the New Testament this morning.